#1 – Does being a dad make you give up on your dreams?
Like most busy dads, I viewed my personal goals as a low priority as my family grew. Several years I realised this was a mistake, you can’t bury your desires in the hope they disappear. I’ve learnt it is even more important to work towards my goals knowing it will not be easy.
Chasing your dreams
The feeling in the pit of our stomach for that dream or goals we have will never go away. I love the quote:
Now let’s clear up an assumption, there’s nothing wrong if you are content with life if the goals was a stable job, large family, a sports car or owning a home. Whatever it may be, if you’re lucky enough to be living your dream, embrace it, many wish they had that.
However if you’ve always had a dream of writing a book, releasing a song, selling your watercolour paintings, renovating a home or whatever, then, welcome to the club. Drew and I both have these itches, itches that need to be scratched. One of these resulted in the launch of the Dads Like Us Podcast. Sounds easy right? Well, it wasn’t, it took us seven months to launch it with many missed deadlines.
This is the challenge of chasing your dreams alongside earning a living or taking care of children, we have to carve out and make the most of our free time. What free time? you may ask.
I know as a parent, there are many reasons my time disappears. A five minute task of putting my sons to bed could take twenty to thirty minutes and I won’t even go into leaving the house.
All that time ‘lost’ is part of parenting, to find time to work on your goals will take discipline, it may be pockets of time in the morning, during the day or at the end of the day.
Maximising the use of the time when we’re tired or relaxing can be a huge challenge and the younger and larger our family, the less time we have, but the benefits will pay off. Start small, use the time wisely and eventually it will pay off.
All about the Benjamins
The first thought when it comes to personal goals is having a side hustle and earning extra income. Who can say no to having extra money but our happiness is just as critical along with our mental wellbeing. Mentally we crave fulfilment and achievement because we have passions and ideas waiting to be developed, the only way to make them a reality is devoting time to them.
On the podcast, I talk about my goals which are centred on self-interest and passive income. Another stream of income can lead to financial freedom, which no-one should ever underestimate but allocating time when we are parents and partners as well as playing other roles, such as friends, siblings, mentors, offspring and much more is a challenge.
Like everything in life, balance is necessary and nurturing relationships will ensure our happiness and success in the long term. This is why ‘balance with everything’ is the mantra behind everything Drew and I talk about.
Certain things will always take priority and the right amount of attention is the balance our lives need. This is why we talk about kids and tech in episode two and in episode four we dive into the ubiquitous topic motivation, I mean, if we can’t motivate ourselves, all the inspirational quotes in the world won’t make a difference.
Inspire the children
If you’re thinking, this all sounds great if only I had the time or I’m so tired I can’t stay awake. We must remember kids are inspired and learn through imitation from what we do.
When they see our passion for something like a painting we finished, joining in with our fitness routine or our passion for cooking, these are all great learning and influential experiences.
It will not be easy to achieve our goals, it will be difficult most of the time, a lot like parenting. Similar to developing a good work ethic in our kids, it will take repetition, sometimes it will not go well.
Perseverance is needed, just like being a good dad.