#1 Episode Transcript

Drew 0:00
Hey, everyone, welcome to the dads like us podcast.

Jordan 0:03
I’m Drew. And I’m Jordan. And this podcast is two dads talking about juggling everyday life whilst trying to achieve your goals. So sit back and enjoy

Jordan 0:21
in terms of what this is really is just us getting together as two dads and having a bit of a chat about one about our daily, just getting through our daily lives, but also just talking about the things that we still aspire to do. Even though we have all the responsibility of having family and dependence and kids and everything else, and it’s still trying to achieve that little dream you still have inside to do something else. So what is the dream? Well, I guess one of those is this podcast to be honest

Drew 0:56
It’s a start.

Jordan 0:58
Yeah, yeah, it’s, um, I think, for me is always to be is it has always been, I’ve done things I’ve career wise, I’ve, I mean, I’ve changed my career a number of times. cautiously, though, I haven’t completely wiped it and started from scratch, I’ve always kind of moved in a way that my income doesn’t drop massively, because I can’t afford to. But I’ve always had dreams of doing other things. I’ve always started other side businesses and other side bits, and successfully at this point, some with very little bits of success. So I guess for me, it’s I’ve always wanted to do something like this, I still wanted to do I have a podcast, you know, I still have aspirations to do some YouTube and do some other things, you know, be in front of camera. Not sure how good I am at that. But it’s just finding out things like that. So for me, there’s still things that I have biggest aspirations to do. And that that hasn’t those, those itchings are still there. I’m still you know, I think I’ve still got a script somewhere in me that I will eventually right. And everybody will ignore, but I have to write it, or it will bug me to the end of day. So, so yeah, it’s just things like that.

Drew 2:08
Yeah. Okay. Um, yeah, and I’m pretty much the same. I think there’s always I’m one of those people that gets gets bored. really easily. Basically, I’ve got a very short attention span, and always have so it’s, it’s always, there’s always something on the cards, you know what I mean, whether it’s, you know, right wanting to write kids books, or, or Yeah, like you say, right, having a script for a film idea or something like that. I mean, a lot of those things never go anywhere. Because most of the time, you have no idea, once you get past that first stage of who to even talk to, or who to give it to, you know, apart from then going on YouTube and doing a shitload of research to try and get some idea of where to actually take it. At which point, I’ve probably lost enthusiasm for the scheme anyway, you know what I mean? And then it goes no further until I go on to the next one, you know, and, you know, I feel I feel sorry for my wife, because, you know, she’s been with me over, coming up to 15 years. And it’s, and she must be used to it now. But it must be, have been a boring as hell frustrating as hell for when it’s like, right, I’m doing this now. And I’m so enthusiastic when I start, and I start hundred miles an hour, and I’m just full on with it. And then gradually that goes down. The next thing is like, and now I’m doing this, you know, she’s like, what happened to that last, you know, that last scheme you had while there was things that got in the way? I think most of the time, I’m just getting in my own way.

Jordan 3:27
Yeah.

Drew 3:27
You know, finding an excuse not to not to do the hard work, probably. But that’s something we’re going to look into in later podcast, definitely not something we necessarily going to discuss right now.

Jordan 3:38
You know, and it is true. Getting in your own way Is that so? Anytime you seen a lot of these guys who do you know, business, I guess, business advice and business talks, they’re always talking about people that there’s there’s two fears I think people have one is where they don’t start, and then they loads of people who start and now a finish. And I think the ones who don’t start this out fear. I think, if I remember correctly, the ones who don’t finish, it’s like an attention span thing. As soon as it gets too boring, or too tough or too dull, or you hit the mundane of all these processes. Then it’s like, oh, you know, I’m done now, I need to find something else to move to. And that’s the bit that those who succeed, grind fruit. Yeah, those are the that’s what they that’s how they succeed. Yeah, they because they grind through that really dull and boring side of things, and even relates to sports. And I’m always trying to tell my son this, in that, you know, he’s really into basketball and he wants to do a move in basketball, he wants to do a layup. And, you know, he does a couple of times doesn’t maybe 30, 40 times, and then he gets a couple of layups in and he’s like, Okay, I need to do a layup now, and I’m like, not really, you’ve you’ve got like, two in 40 or something like that, you know, you’re still really rubbish. And it’s like, it’s hard to, like, you want to motivate him, like, seriously, you now have to go through the grind of practising those layups constantly.

Drew 5:14
Yeah

Jordan 5:14
To the fact that you don’t think about it, when you have to do a layup that you’re in a game, you’re under pressure, and a layup just comes

Drew 5:22
and it consistency.

Jordan 5:23
Yeah, it just comes naturally.

Drew 5:25
Consistency only comes when you when you really do that, that whatever is the 10,000 hours, or you’re practising every single day. Yeah, so anyway, you get good at stuff isn’t

Jordan 5:34
that I tried to explain to him, I’m like, Listen, I understand, because I had the same when I played basketball. I, I was I was short, you know, being 510 is a short basketball player. And I had, you know, you’re always getting you’re handling the ball and using things like free throws. And I said, and I knew that there was no way I could miss a free throw. So I said, I practice them. I said, I practice I can’t, I can’t genuinely say, but I. It could not be under 5000 free throws, I practised to the point that my free throw percentage was something like I could get eight or nine out of 10. And that was what my aim was, was I knew that when I’m in a game and I’m tired, I want to know that I have a good percentage ratio of being able to get free throws. Yeah. And then I tried to same with shots and, and other things as well. You know, I didn’t make me I didn’t become a great basketball player or anything. But it was one thing I knew was that my free throws would like, you know, had practice those and I side practice in my shoot in my threes was terrible. You know, I couldn’t shoot the you know, I was just like, you know, I never practice those enough. So bringing that back to business, that’s the same sort of thing is that all these ideas we have? Some are going to work and some aren’t. But it’s also knowing at what point do I stop this? Because it’s not really going to work? And it seemed like a great idea and wasn’t? And where do I take an idea and make sure I grind through to a point where I generally have to, isn’t it the best chance to succeed. And that point you talk about of stopping when it gets boring? I’ve done that so many times as well. I’ve done so I’ve started up whole social media pages and everything I’ve got really excited. I’ve had the websites have started developing them. And then at some point, you know, I just just someone turns around and goes, Oh, so how is that going? And I’ve like I’ve moved on, and they’re just kind of like, oh, okay, you know, that

Drew 7:26
this is that brings me to something which is the see I remember. You know, when I was a kid and started doing things that every you know, people would say, like, share your dreams, or share your goals. So that then you know, you’re you’re held accountable. And I always thought that was quite a good thing. But now I’m hearing the reverse, in a lot of, you know, motivational speakers and speak, you know, speakers about business development thing that saying, don’t share your ideas, don’t share your dreams. But I’m kind of like, because it is like training yourself out of that mindset, which is extremely difficult to do. When you spend 20, 30, 40 years in a mindset to go right now I’m going to switch out of that mindset, I’m not going to think that way anymore. So I’m still trying to get my head around that, you know, and it’s like, starting this this podcast, for instance. There’s there’s elements to it, isn’t it? There’s, there’s the fear aspect, you know, putting yourself out there, being judged by your peers being judged by strangers. And the only reason we’re doing this is obviously the conversation that we had over a beer and a barbecue. And going fuck it, why not? You know, I’m still scared. Right now. I’m still scared. And right now in my head, I’m still going. Your voice sounds crap. Like we just listened with literally before we were doing this podcast, we just did a test last week, we listened back to it. I think Jordan sounds great. And I think I sound like an idiot. And Jordan was then but i think i sound funny, you know, it’s like, and this is the thing you can’t help but constantly, you know, everyone I think, you know, listening to your voice back recorded. That always sounds weird. We, you know, we kind of went over that. But this whole kind of process, sharing your ideas or even you know, the, like you said about not finishing and stuff like that. Most of that fear, isn’t there? Yeah, I think you know, if you look at the stats, and if you look at, you know, psychologists and people when you talk about it, it’s fear of failure, the reason you don’t continue, the reason you don’t follow it through and you don’t put in that hard grind is because there’s still that fear in the back of your head that it’s not going to happen anyway, even if I do so is it worth me doing that? I mean, I’m not saying this is, you know, for real that the precise way that it works, but I’m guessing I if I think about myself, you know, self analyse myself, I think that’s my, my, my stopping point. But where I start to go, you know,

Jordan 9:49
you’re very right. So, so jumping in on that in terms of what I am, I remember speaking to a guy once and he said to me, I was running, I was trying to run so I shouldn’t say I was running I was I was trying to run a small business idea I had, and I was looking at, I said, Look, and I was talking to him at business meeting. And I said, this is going to take too much investment, and too much time. And you know that and I said to him, there’s no guarantee this will even go anywhere. I’ll spend the next two years just, you know, annoying everybody around me trying to get it done, investing so much into it and it will be a waste. And he goes, what if I could guarantee you that in two years time won’t be successful. But in three and a half years time will be exactly what you wanted. Would you continue doing it? And I was like, Yeah, like how can you guarantee that? And he looked at me and he was just like, I can’t like, like, what would make you think I can. I was oh, well, you know why business me? You know, you made it pretty much sound like you are you know you knew something? Yeah. And he was like I can’t. Because what, that’s what stops you right? Because you’re looking for the guarantee. Like, as soon as I gave you that guarantee, you were like, oh, safety net? I’ll keep going because I know it will succeed.

Drew 11:05
Yeah,

Jordan 11:05
he goes, why not go? And then it doesn’t succeed?

Drew 11:08
Yeah,

Jordan 11:08
but everything you’ve done along that time will have taught you stuff. And as an I looked him in a way, because I’ll have lost more than one year

Drew 11:16
He just ripped the guarantee out of your hands.

Jordan 11:19
Like yeah. Can we go back to that guarantee thing? Could you possibly Yeah. He’s like there’s no guarantees, now stop asking for it, so you know

Drew 11:27
There’s no easy method.

Jordan 11:29
Yeah

Drew 11:29
Listen, there’s luck involved, right? This is what I believe. Now after the years that, you know, I’ve been doing these things and, and trying different businesses and, you know, developing my career and stuff like or not developing my career, whatever it is. There’s no guarantees. But some people are just more lucky than others. Some people find themselves in the right place at the right time, they meet the right person to have the conversation and next thing, things take off, right. And we all know that this kind of overnight success thing, you know, I would say probably 99% not the case, because most of the time people have done so much work in the background, like you said, you know, you can do all of the and the part of the thing about doing all these different business ideas is the amount of stuff you learn while you’re doing it, you know, so it’s never a complete loss. I don’t think Anyway, you learn so many different skills, which I think at the end of the day, and especially in this day, and age being a more entrepreneurial mindset that you know, those lessons that you’ve learned along the way are necessary. And they’re quite important and quite valuable. Actually, when you start to look at it from that perspective.

Jordan 12:33
No, no, I know what you’re going through there I didn’t want to interrupt you. But you are so right. So I kind of want to step on that a bit. Because that luck thing for me is something I’ve never liked. And I’ll explain what I mean by that, in that I think people get luck but I genuinely cliched as it is I think you do create your own luck. I think if somebody I compared myself to somebody else who pushed through and got their business through, they pushed through with an idea, or they pushed through with that, like a side hustle. And they got it, you know, they go through, it’s usually because they’ve done those three things they’ve dealt with the boring times have dealt with the dips, they’ve dealt with the setbacks they’ve dealt with. So by the time they get to a point where they may be dealing with a bunch of people who have seen that or have been through that. And they’re in a networking meeting that I went above and going to because I gave up 20 steps before. And they meet that person who says, Oh, you used to that podcast, I do this, I don’t mind promoting that. And then gives them the break. everybody’s like, oh, he got a lucky break. And I’m thinking, that’s really unfair. Because all those times when he pushed through or she pushed through, and she didn’t give up and she gave up some more of a time and she did what she had to do. You didn’t you sat back and you got through a whole series of you know, Game of Thrones, and then you just thought, well, I’ll try tomorrow. Those are the times that it’s not. That’s what I’ve always thought with the luck is that, in a way that yes, you make your own luck. But you shouldn’t. I wouldn’t call those people lucky because I always think they’ve grinded. You know, there might be that person who I don’t know, has a trust fund, and then goes on. And you know, Daddy introduces them to somebody who then gets them business. I don’t call those lucky. They’re just privileged. Yeah, that’s completely different. Yeah, completely different. But the guys who grind and if they, you know, they get it and you know, they go for and then they finally achieve something, I’m always so much for them. Because I know, I was too lazy to push through, I was too fearful or I was too reserved to make that move and go all the way to get it. And I think that’s the same as us doing this podcast. And it sense that. And I know, we talked about this offline before we came on was that judgement thing is something that there’s a bit in me that is just kind of like, you know, forget everyone, you know, everyone has an opinion. And I just shrugged my shoulders at, but then there’s my own. So it’s all been built up, you know? Yeah, just like I do. My kids, I guess your parents, you know, make sure they put something in you, there’s always something they put inside you that you can’t seem to get rid of. And mine is to have this really self critical nature, that everything I’m doing, I’m criticising like, it’s funny, because somebody can tell me what you did, I didn’t think was great. And I would just think, Well, you know, you could go jump off a bridge, buddy, I don’t really care what you think. But if, but if I think that’s not really good, is so hard for somebody to convince me it’s okay, yeah, yeah, it’s like, I just think err you know,

Drew 15:26
and that is, I don’t need anyone else. You know, literally, I don’t need anyone else to tell me stuff isn’t good or stuff is good. Because I’m literally like, just do you know, on waves every single, every single week. So it’s like, I can leave work and be like, that was a good day, did loads of great stuff, come in the next day, listen to things and go, Oh, my God, I should give up? This is awful. Nobody’s gonna like it, then I’m like, No, no, actually, it’s not that bad. You know, it’s like, so I’m constantly just riding the wave. I don’t need anyone else. You know, so actually, people, other people coming in, is just, it’s just extra stress for me, because I’m already so critical. Anyway, myself. And I think that most of the not even what I do, but most of the stuff is like, I think being self aware. Yeah, changing, changing tack slightly, but being self aware, when we’re talking about, you know, being dad’s parents and stuff like that. Being self aware is a great thing. You know, going back on things that you’ve done with your children, or you said your children, or your wife or your in your relationship and stuff like that, being able to then go back and say, was that me? Did I cause that situation? Yeah, could I have changed that situation? Should I have dealt with that situation better? You know what I mean, it could, you know, could have been calm? Or could I have done it, you know, all those kind of things. If you don’t have that, then it’s just going to be a struggle, isn’t it? Do you know what I mean, if you don’t have that, then you fall into the same traps, you can’t get out of those traps, and they’re just, you know, it’s the same thing every day, you can’t stop yourself getting angry, you can’t stop yourself reacting to things. And I was talking to somebody actually earlier today, and, and it was basically controlling your reactions.

Jordan 17:07
Oh okay

Drew 17:07
Probably one of the most important things, because reacting is something we do instantly, right? We react to a situation at work, we react to a situation on the road, we react to a situation or something my wife says, we react to something, it is extremely difficult to stop yourself from reacting to things, yeah. But the moment you understand the reaction is normally what, what causes the negative side of things, then you can start to kind of, you know, work on yourself to try and develop the tools to not be so reactive, and assess the situation before making. It’s really difficult.

Jordan 17:45
It’s very, it’s, it really is, and I know what you know, we’re talking, we’re talking about reactions, and we’re talking in terms of how you’re being self aware that tie ties back into when you’re doing these different way, pick up these different sort of like ideas, you have them following them through. And that’s also self awareness, realising that you’re somebody who starts things but doesn’t follow through, or you don’t start them, because you have the idea for ages. And you, you put in all types of blockers around why you’re not doing them. And that’s the same, I guess, when you start talking about reactions, because it’s, it’s part of being self aware, and how you react to things. But also being able to control those reactions are not always easy, because you’re, you’re talking reactions have a slightly different thing. And I, I look at it as the depending on the situation, the pressure, the stress what’s going on. And I mean, just have that time, you know, you’re in a restaurant or something like that. And your kid is like, you know, Starting to throw things or pour in his drink over the table, or she’s going to throw something on the floor. And the way you’re going to react is not the same as if you’re maybe at home, and your kid is about to pull something or where you feel like I can take a moment I can talk to you. Because in the restaurant, you’re maybe you’re embarrassed as one to you know, you don’t really want that in public three, you’re thinking this is going to inconvenience other people, if that’s just thrown across. So somebody is coming, clean that up. And so your reactions could be slightly different your reactions could even be worse at home, if maybe you’ve laid down new carpet and your kids about to pour that drink have some reactions are really hard. But being aware in terms of I think the self awareness side of things is where you can know that, okay, I know that certain situations, if I’m going to get stressed or pressured, it’s not going to work well. So you start, like, getting ready for those sort of situations. So you’re going to restaurant and, you know, you’re like, Okay, I’m going to make sure that you’re not going to hold the drink, I’m going to make sure. And those are sometimes how you’re dealing with so that you don’t get into a reactive state. You know, and I do it all the time. I saw like, I, I don’t know, there’s a word for it at the military do is and it’s a kind of a preparation where, you know, I’m trying to set my, my situation in such a way, you know, I my environment in such a way that I can manage the environment. I don’t environment, I don’t need to be an out of control situations. Yeah, yeah, I have to react to. So we’re going somewhere, I think, okay, I’m taking my son’s with me. And I’m going to make sure that I know what things are. And before we’re out the car, they get like a full on military layout of like, We’re going here, and this is what I’m expecting of both of you. And I’m not expecting that I’m going to have to blow up and I’m going to have to like try and you know, talk you down or we’re going to have to this and that kind of looking at me thinking okay, if that’s the expectation, that’s fine they’re kids, so don’t remember in this for the three minutes of the conversation. But also like, you know, you also have to remember that at some point, we’re just going to lose our minds. You know, they don’t say this. As they’re talking back to me, going yeah sure dad, yeah

Drew 21:01
It’s a lucky day. If it doesn’t, yeah, so certain age, I think, you know, I don’t know, we don’t know what it’s like when they become teenagers. Because we’re not at that point. But it’s a lucky day, if you go out with a two and a half year old and a six year old. And it’s smooth. And then you get to the end, you know, the you go out for for a day or whatever, and you come back and it’s like, nothing happened, wow, nothing happened, nobody winged. Nobody moaned, nobody fell over, you know what I mean? You know, nobody threw a tantrum, you know, it’s just Yeah.

Jordan 21:32
But I can tell you with mine being older at that, that nobody winged, nobody complained it still runs on.

Jordan 21:40
It doesn’t, it doesn’t change. But what what I now have is I have sort of, I have like call outs, you know, where, if things are getting out of hand, I’m just kind of like, not you guys need to calm down. And they know that for me is like, you need to calm down so that dad doesn’t lose his mind. And then this turns into, you know, getting you in the corner and giving you a real telling off and like, you know, it’s a shouting situation and that type of stuff. So, it’s, it’s one of those things that again, that’s, that’s the self awareness side of it. But applying that to achieving things and doing things you know, and wanting, also wanting my kids to see that, that that you can, you can go beyond what you just, you know, on if you have something that you really want, or you really like, it’s like you can, you know, you you’ve got to push yourself, there’s one point talking it, but you know, your kids pick up so much from the way you do things, you know, I see it all the time that it’s, you know, it’s not just sometimes doing it for myself it’s to show them as well, like, you know, I’ve really wanted this and that, and I do this and I want to come back to that like critical part that we spoke about earlier. Because I’ve done things like written a novel, like, where I think I’m three quarters of the way, put it down for okay, I’ll give myself about a couple of weeks and come back and read that or just to kind of have a fresh view on it and hated it. And I’ve gone in hundreds of pages like well, like, you know, about 150 pages. Everything I like, there’s not one bit of it that actually like in my think is like, terrible. Like, I’m thinking who would read this, I don’t even want to read this, you know, and I didn’t finish it. You know? And, and it’s been crazy. And I’ve and, and I’m so like, I’m so annoyed at how poor it is like annoyed with myself, like, like you spent all this time and you wrote such poor quality, that I don’t even want to share it like I’m like, you know, there’s no point reading it, it’s rubbish, and I just delete it.

Drew 23:48
But there you go, this is something I’ve only just started learning. You know, you grow up with, like, tools that you’ve learned from your parents and all those things. And, you know, you just have a way of going about things as you grow up and it becomes your kind of becomes your set point, doesn’t it? You fall back to it. And you know, even if you try and get out of and you try and you know, you try and you know, teach yourself to do things differently. It’s it’s your set point. But the one thing that I’ve been learning a lot recently, and this is this is the difficult thing I think about a lot of creative things is that you got to remember, you’re not the best person to judge what you do. That’s the moment I heard that and I can’t remember where I heard it from, I think it was probably Gary Vee or somebody like that. But the moment I kind of like it’s obvious, right? But I hadn’t, I don’t think I’d really heard it before, you know, because people say to you don’t listen to what other people say just carry on just following through. And, you know, you can start off with a bad book and write another book and it will get better and blah, blah, yeah, we know that, you know, but that doesn’t necessarily sink in. But for me personally, the one thing that kind of struck home is like you’re you know, whether it’s music you’re doing or writing a book, or writing, you know, kids books or, or even being an athlete or any of those kind of things, you’re not the best person to judge how good or bad you are at something. And really, that doesn’t matter anyway, the fact is, at the end of the day that you got to at least put yourself out there and especially today with the internet, especially today with, you know, social media marketing, all those kind of things and stuff like that. The guarantee is if you don’t try it, you’re probably going to fail, you know what I mean? That’s the guarantee, right? So the least you can do, hence going again, going back to the why we’re doing this podcast in the first place, being as scared and as fearful of whatever, you know and I can ignore it and everything. But if you don’t do it, you’re never going to know. Yeah, you know, it’s never gonna happen.

Jordan 25:42
Yeah, I mean, for me, the the podcast was like, well, I talk all the time. So for me, the podcast was inevitable move into, it still follows in with my soft of story telling sides, I’ve always had, but not having, having always started writing things, and then getting rid of them, I’ve started to realise and, and it’s, it’s, I think that that word, and you’re not the best judge is good to a certain extent that if it means that you actually go and get some other, you know, opinions, you know, and I’ve already said, you know, value in opinions is is, you know, is something I’m also need to accept. But just putting it out there and letting a few other people read it. And it’s maybe not so much taking the opinions on board, but just generally getting rid of that sort of I will just judge it and then I will be I will make sure I’ll see whether I let it out or not. But it’s also meant that, to a certain extent, with things that I’ve written is that I’m not a perfectionist, this is it. This is what I don’t understand is that I’m not I’m not somebody who things have to be perfect to get them done. I am very much of the you know, that’s, that’s fine, that works, of that mindset. So I don’t understand when I’m doing something that’s a tiny bit creative. Why I then go into being this perfectionist and this is one of the reasons when we talked about the podcast, I thought I’ll be good to do it with you because it would force me not to do a podcast, record it, listen to it, edit it, listen to it myself, and hit the delete key as soon as I finished doing that going I don’t like my voice, I don’t think I sounded well, I don’t think the topic really got across. I don’t think I had the right content, and then just blitzing it. I thought this will push you in a way to have a different opinion and go okay, or I guess we could let that one out. And I could tell you all for this process, I’m most likely going to complain about everyone we release by going I don’t think that one was that good.

Drew 27:43
Yeah, I’m just I’m just going to ignore, whether I like it or not. It’s like, you know, really, you want to come across a certain way. And whether or not you do at the end of the day, and people think you’re funny or entertaining or intellectual or whatever it is that is the confirmation that you’re good enough, I just I know, like I said, my thing is like, I’ve just got to put it out, we’ve just got to put it out. Yeah. And I’m going to ignore that, you know, I’m going to literally, like just edit, and get it all together and give it to you to do your bit of it. You know, because Jordan and I sharing roles, obviously, which I’m sure most people do. So yeah, I’m obviously being the audio guy. I’m looking after that side of it. And Jordan’s marketing, you know, so, and kind of putting this stuff out. And I’ll do my bit and I’m gonna, I’m going to just kind of close my eyes and close my ears and just finish it. Yeah. And then give it to you. And then at that point, you know, it’s like, it’s done, and it’s out there. And then it does what it does, you know, yeah. And, and, you know, obviously, we will promote, we’ll do what we can within stuff like that, but you just got to kind of let it go. Yeah, you just got to let it go and see what happens. You know,

Jordan 28:49
yeah, it’s, it’s it. It’s a massive struggle but it’s good. Because I think I’m hoping that if people are listening to this, and they had those same sort of you

Drew 28:57
yeah. It’s training. It’s training. Cuz every process of doing that, every process of me ignoring that voice inside me going, don’t put it out. Don’t let people hear this. You sound dumb for you. You’re not funny

Jordan 29:12
You’re not good enough, No, you’re not good enough. Your voice sounds terrible.

Drew 29:17
Exactly.

Jordan 29:18
Your podcast is a waste of time. Just you know you could be watching love Island right now.

Drew 29:23
That’s one lesson then you get on to the next pass part, the next episode, that’s another one and you keep going to keep going sooner or later that will stop being a consideration in your in your mind. The moment you start to get a few likes and a few followers and a few lists and things like that. I think that comes down you know, the certain things I’ve done in the past I’ve noticed that, the nervousness at the beginning and the over judgement, overthinking. It gets less and less but I’ve never done it enough for it to be well I have in my career, obviously. But even that’s still a struggle, I must admit. Yeah, you know, and I’m learning new lessons all the time but yeah, I think it’s it’s just consistency in the process of just getting it done. Get out

Jordan 30:05
Wait until the internet comes to crush your soul. Yeah, well, there’s this YouTube I was I was watching this YouTube video just talking about, they were talking about successes on YouTube but it’s all about psychology of success. And they said when a YouTube video starts getting a lot of likes not someone popular or when I say popular know somebody in those fame categories of the beyonces and you know, I can’t even think of other people right now, but who are, who have such great followings and stuff like that, you know, when you know the Justin Bieber’s who have a whole crew of people follow them and he gives them a nickname. I think they’re called bleepers or believers or something, I believe.

Drew 30:50
Yeah, believers, I think

Drew 30:53
I think so. Not that I like Justin Bieber.

Jordan 30:55
Yeah. But I’m, I’m quite happy that you knew that and I did not. Yeah. So when not people who’ve got to that level where they have a crew of people who would jump to their defence Yeah, let’s say that this podcast starts and then you start getting maybe you get to the point of getting like, 50,000 subscribers, like you have a YouTube channel. And every time a video comes out, you know, because all your subscribers don’t watch all your videos, you get maybe about 10,000 views. And if you get out of those, maybe you’re getting like 8000 likes. Yeah, people will actually just click the DON’T LIKE button. Just show that you feel, you’re too good. Yeah, that’s just that psychology of it. Like, you know, when you’re in the beyonce’s and the Bieber’s numbers, you’re in the millions so the people who are clicking Don’t Like are so irrelevant that it doesn’t really matter

Jordan 31:02
They’re irrelevant anyway. Even if you’ve got hundreds

Jordan 31:43
Yeah, but,

Drew 31:43
but but it’s much more, you know, it’s much more relevant to you, when you’ve only got 100 just got there. And then for people go, Don’t Like,

Jordan 31:52
like, why, yeah, yeah, I think, you know,

Jordan 31:55
what did we do to you? Yeah. And is it and the psychology is actually just understand that those people do that. Yeah. Because they feel like, not everybody should, like you’re video

Drew 32:06
Somebody’s having a bad day,

Jordan 32:07
you can watch you can watch a video with somebody saving like a child from you know, from drowning, and everybody’s, you know, and they run into the sea, and they jump in and they just saved the child and that just about get out with their own life as well and they’re resuscitated at the side. I people would like, like it because you know, that person did well, and somebody won’t like it like, well, if they’re such a saint, why is it shown, you know, on YouTube, and it’s somebody who maybe tries to explain like, actually, it’s not them who showed on YouTube Yeah, it’s just a general video from the ambulance service.

Drew 32:42
Do you know what don’t even get me started that’s another podcast about people on YouTube making videos about them helping people you know, I mean, homeless man drives in a Ferrari do you

Drew 32:52
know what i mean I took him for lunch, like yeah, great you

Jordan 32:56
Are you going in and hating all those videos [laughs]

Drew 32:59
Do you know, the funny thing is actually I don’t actually think, if I, if I think about, I don’t think I’ve ever hated a video I don’t think I’ve ever disliked thumbs down a video. The thing is, I don’t like or dislike them actually. That’s the thing is like, I’ve only kind of started recently going you know, the because because I was never on social media. Because I had no interest of social media. That’s the funny thing. So I would watch YouTube videos and I would just watch them there was no commenting there was no liking or disliking and and i and i do like a lot more stuff now. And I do comment a lot more now. Because Because I’m now doing social media

Jordan 33:36
well if people are listening to this. I hope they do press like

Jordan 33:43
but I do know what you mean.

Jordan 33:45
I liked it when I see people also do things on social media and I think this is a social media and liking and disliking videos is a whole different podcast we should do. Yeah, maybe we do that as our next one.

Drew 33:59
Because that’s gonna disappear supposedly in like an Instagram. Yeah, that’s gonna disappear, isn’t it? You know, because people rely on that. Yeah,

Jordan 34:06
yeah, yeah, I don’t I don’t I generally think there’s there is a link they say between people’s not happiness or euphoria, but you know, where people like it and how high it makes you feel. So I can’t see that get rid of it completely. I know Facebook used to have that poke when they started years ago which was completely useless. But people used to poke you and stuff which had so many connotations that I don’t, did poke loads of people so I’ll just let you know that now before you completely but but now I can’t quite remember why I did it it just sounds

Drew 34:41
like just because I was trying to play the game the Facebook game I thought this is what you did cuz the people poked me and I was like so what is a poke exactly? You know? Is it just I’m just going oh

Jordan 34:51
yeah,

Drew 34:52
that’s that’s crazy. Well you know it’s just like ‘oi’ you’re not sayinghello or anything

Jordan 34:58
it was the next stage down of laziness to say I saw your thing I know

Drew 35:03
let’s not interact

Jordan 35:04
I’m not gonna comment because to be honest, that’s too much effort. And I’m not going to like it because I don’t even like around but you know, because I don’t quite like it because I don’t really Claire care about your photo of you know, the deep blue sea but I just want to poke to go your allo right you know, I saw it and you’re okay, so that was that was what the Poke was but going off that the whole hating and stuff and as you said we did another topic just to cover kind of close that off quite quickly. Was the whole thing with people liking and not liking stuff and and that is I find when people go on people’s pages and go didn’t like that or any other comment. I’m going to unfollow you. And I think I always find it really weird. It’s like, I tried to put it into I know social media is a different etiquette in terms of different mannerism to how you work in your you behave when you see somebody face to face. But we just thought, if you will unfollow them and you genuinely are going to unfollow. Yeah. You saying you unfollow them, and then I’m following you’re never going to see what they say back to your comment. Which means genuinely, you’re going to say I unfollow you. And wait to see if they reply to your comment before you unfollow. Yeah, how self gratifying do you need it to be that even to unfollow somebody, you still need a reaction before you won’t follow

Jordan 36:27
it’s like hanging up on somebody on the phone, then ringing them back up

Drew 36:32
You know, old school, yeah, hang up on somebody on the phone, then pick the phone up to see if they’re still connected and then putting the phone down again

Drew 36:41
I had it on Instagram with this girl. I had it on Instagram with this with the singer. And, and, you know, I was told we were you know, they everyone says, like, start a conversation in the DMs and you know, goes down in the DMs. And so I started a conversation and and you know, she she was doing some good like singer, singer rapper, she was doing some good stuff. So I’m starting I started a conversation with her I’m like, really like your staff and everything we’re chatting away and stuff like that. You know, and I’ve got, you know, I’ve got a couple of beats that you might like, you know, and I’ve been going over Listen, you know, and it was just like a, you know, genuine trying to try to interact with people do what people say you should do. Yeah, that’s what I’m doing. I don’t like said I’m not a social media person. This is this is this is new to me, right? So I’m having this conversation is fine. And she’s calling everything. And then she fights she’s in America, then she finds out. I’m in the UK. I can’t work with you. Because you’re kind of you’re in the UK. That really, you know, thinking to myself, I don’t I don’t respond to those things now, in the way that I would have, you know, I would have had a conversation and you said this, in my mind. I’m saying this now. And I’m like, does that really matter in this day and age that you’re in America and I’m over here, I can send you a track you can put a vocal down at the studio, send it back to me I can mix it produce it and send it back and tune is done, track out right.

Drew 38:04
Then she got then she got a manager involved. I think some some organisations have seen her online, she was getting some decent view. Okay. And they said they wanted a manager and I think that was part of the process where, you know, she had made that decision. But anyway, long story short, because we like to talk. The point is that she then unfollowed me. Okay, so we connected i’d followed her then she’d follow me back. Okay. And we started a conversation. Then in the as it went down in the DMs, she decided that she wasn’t interested because I was in the UK wasn’t about the music or anything like that. It was just about, you know, you’re in about you’re in UK, so I can’t really work with you. I’m going to work with people in the US. Okay, fine. unfollow. So I was like, okay, unfollow. So I unfollowed her. And then I see her talking, because I’m still seeing some things on my feed. Okay, then I see her talking about the fact that she now left that management firm. This is literally like a week later. Okay, if that management firm, and things didn’t kind of work out, blah, blah, blah, having a bit of a bitch and moan about it. And then, so I’m like, do you want to start? Do you want to try doing something then? So then she follows me. So I follow her back.

Drew 39:20
And then we have this conversation from

Jordan 39:23
you know, they’re dates that work like this

Drew 39:26
We have this conversation for another few days. And then john follows me again. And again, and it was just like, oh, seriously. And I think it’s like, you get drawn into those things. And then you feel like you’re back in school.

Jordan 39:37
so you guys dated on and off

Drew 39:39
it was like literally like, yeah, just teasing, you know, is this like, and then nothing happens.

Jordan 39:44
To me. I think what you call that is the relationship is complicated. Yeah.

Drew 39:49
I didn’t understand that was definitely complicated.

Jordan 39:51
long distance relationship with complication.

Drew 39:53
Yeah, that was just weird.Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I don’t that’s why I don’t understand. Yeah, social media. It kind of gets me I don’t it’s like, follow me. Yeah, you know, I’ll follow you back. Yeah, you know, and I know, obviously, there’s restrictions with with Instagram, you can’t follow a certain amount of you can’t follow everyone, it’s following you. Okay, it’s gonna be a point when you get to, I think it’s 7000. But there’s gonna be a point where you get to, you know, too busy or whatever, to reply to all your DMs. And you’re not going to start you’re not going to be bothering to follow people back in, your numbers go up. And then it shows that you don’t follow as many people as people follow you, all that stuff.

Jordan 40:28
There was a tool at one point I remembered. This was maybe about a couple years ago, there was an app, and I think Instagram may be changed some algorithms or so to stop the app working. But it could show you all the people who had followed you, and then I’m followed you shortly after. So have you got it

Drew 40:47
follow cop. i’ve got it?

Drew 40:48
Still works

Jordan 40:49
Geez. But, you know, I didn’t want to know the name. I just seen loads of people who werenot. And I don’t mean this in a derogatory way. Yeah. But they weren’t famous in any way. They were just genuinely, like, these are people who I knew who had met for either works or in party events. So you know, just socially, and who were putting this on their page? Like, yeah, you know, I’ve seen people who I followed. I knew in school who, who just followed me to up they’re numbers. So I’ve now unfollowed them to, I was just like,

Jordan 41:23
wow, I can understand it. It may be in your way, your dinner music, your musician and you’re trying to get your numbers up. Because the bigger the more your numbers are, psychologically when people see a singer and they’ve got like 300,000 views? Oh, I should have been following this person, because clearly they’re up and coming. Yeah. So I could see why it works in terms of being an artist. Yeah, you know, but when you just average Joe Bloggs, who what you’re posting on there is your weekendat Garage Nation. And the other week when you went on your holiday with your Chihuahua to Spain, I can’t understand why you’re so bothered with about, you know, you go like 350 people following you

Drew 42:02
Yeah, it doesn’t matter anyway. Because the thing is that with, you know, with the way that the algorithms work, they don’t show it to all the people that follow you anyway, I keep on learning stuff, and then finding out that stuff is no longer relevant. Yeah, it’s really frustrating. because things change so quickly, like years ago, you’d find out about something. And you could keep running with that. For years. Until then something else came out. But now it’s so quick. You know what I mean? Yeah, the algorithms are changing Facebook, and Instagram and stuff like that. So the moment you literally learn something it’s like, so I was, you know, initially because I hadn’t been on this stuff before. But obviously, I’ve heard about it. And I’m like, it’s good. If you’ve got a certain amount of followers and all this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But actually, now it’s coming, you know, again, like the, you know, the the social media gurus out there that the influencers and all those people, because that’s a new thing. influencers. Yeah, yeah. You know, well, not so new. But

Jordan 42:56
I know you mean,

Drew 42:57
in the conversation we’re having, but it’s not relevant, really, the followers you have, it’s not so relevant. You have so many likes, and all the rest of it. That’s why I think they’re considering taking out taking that away, because it’s not so relevant. It’s about engagement. Yeah. And working, you know, the algorithm working for you. This is my understanding, I’m not an authority on this. So if anyone’s listening, and they want to correct me, that’s absolutely fine. But it’s the it’s the way the algorithm works. And the engagement, what you really want is people to engage with your content. Yeah, that’s it simple. Doesn’t matter whether you’ve got 50,000 followers, doesn’t matter whether you have 500 likes, every time you post something, if people aren’t engaging with you, because people just like and go on to the next thing, then they’re not watching your content. They’re just liking it, because it’s you. And they’re just like, they like everything that you put out. Because, you know, they kind of like you. Or it’s just they’re liking it, because they’re going down the list trying to, you know, have this false engagement. I’m, look what I’m doing. You know, I’m commenting on a couple of people stuff I’m liking, like 50, or, you know, 40 or 50. people stuff, that’s going to add to me getting more followers and people engaging with me, the lights not working, the

Jordan 44:04
the likes are important. See, we said we’re going to talk about social media. dive right into and we do this all the time. Yeah, we kind of go off topic and then try to come back. But the thing about the likes is so true, because a lot of people sometimes like stuff like I generally know, I don’t post much on social media Something, I always tell myself, I want to improve from like things like promoting this podcast I want to promote more on But personally, I don’t feel the needs to post stuff on unless I want to post. And I generally know that there’s a range of people who generally like my stuff make a comment also, who are friends. And and I know that people who I haven’t seen in years who hit my like button, so that I would like their stuff as well. Yeah. And I know that there’s, there’s generally that kind of that going on. And these are the reasons why I haven’t been on Facebook for like four years. And, you know, every time I travel, and I meet people during my travels, which is is another side hobby of mine, which I like doing which is travelling is when I may meet on travels, I tend to miss a lot more people use Facebook and travelling to keep in contact with us like Facebook Messenger. So I tend to go on Facebook, only to message those people when we’re in somewhere like in the middle of Asia, and we want to know where someone is or something like that. But those people when I meet them, after we’ve had that interaction, even if they have my Instagram, certainly come on Instagram and Facebook. We do that whilst we’re travelling through different parts of whichever country it is. And then they don’t really interact with me anymore after that, and I genuinely like that, because it’s always more authentic, because at that timethere will be like, respond to my pictures. If I if I took a photo of some sort of maybe temple, they’ll be like, Oh, you’re in Bagan,

Jordan 45:48
yes, you should go around here and see this and that and the interaction here is real. When I kind of say I’m heading back to the UK, I’m heading back to London and that they’re kind of like, Oh, you know, well, the next time you’re travelling, let us know. And then you kind of that communication kicks off the next time you’re travelling. Yeah. And there you go. I’m now in Cambodia. And they can like, oh, have you been here? So I find those quite genuine. Because they don’t like my stuff. And they don’t like it if I just showed them that I’ve been to some sort of like, party event. Like, don’t care. Just ignore me. Yeah, maybe they’re not even seeing it. Yeah. And I like that. Because you know, that’s feels a lot more genuine. To be who I know who I liking stuff and I’m looking and thinking I haven’t spoken to you in years. You don’t even really, you maybe don’t even really remember what my second name is. Yeah, you know, that sort of thing. So it’s just how it is. But, you know, I know we’ve gotten onto social media, you know, being that this is, you know, our first podcast and kind of ramble.

Drew 46:43
this is part of this is part of what we do. Yeah. We’re gonna ramble. Yeah,

Jordan 46:47
I think I think if if anything this podcast is really me you talking? Yes, we normally do. Start on a topic is like, Where did Where did we end up? Wait, what was my channel?

Drew 46:58
Does it have to be a structure will? It is?

Jordan 47:00
Yeah, I guess Exactly. I guess if you’re listening to it, and you’re following it. I guess the main the main idea around this podcast is that we’ll talk about, you know, we’re dads both myself and drew Yeah, it’s just generally us talking about everyday struggles with things that we want to do alongside, I guess our careers that bring in the income. And genuinely things like social media, around parenting and everything around that affects us whilst we’re trying to

Drew 47:29
It’s family life. family life, this is what we’re trying to do. This is just a conversation. Yeah.

Jordan 47:35
Well, that’s the end of episode one. Thanks, guys, for listening.

Drew 47:39
I hope you enjoyed it. And don’t forget to subscribe and come back for the next episode

Jordan 47:44
for any links that we mentioned and to download the show you can find us on https://dadspodcast.com

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